Wind? Pah! Youngsters don't know they're born!
Monday, 21 July 2008
'You've got rain blowing sideways', claimed Vijay Singh.
'It's a matter of hanging in there', said an exasperated Robert Allenby.
It didn't stop there, either. Players tramped off the course - especially after the first two rounds of this years Championship, which were afflicted by worse weather - and bleated into whichever microphone was nearest that the course, the weather, the balls, the crowd and everything else was unfair and that it was unplayable.
They rocked up to a links course by the sea and didn't expect wind?
Morons. The wind is an integral part of the Open, much like the enthusiastic, huge crowds, the ovation given to every player making their way up the 18th, the stuffy Scottish heritage of the event and the even stuffier R&A members lining up to present the Claret Jug at the end of what is, often, a remarkable week.
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The best players over the four rounds - I'm including winner Harrington, Poulter, the stunning performance from Greg Norman and a fair few more - were those who adapted to the conditions. They all decided that to succeed at Royal Birkdale required shots that were different to those they normally played, and duly employed them. Bump-and-run shots to get close to the flag, tactical iron play off the tees to avoid trouble dealt from a 350-yard drive, low punch shots that travel 180 yards but duck under the fiercest of the Birkdale breezes.
Notice a trend here? The most effective players over the week were those that took the wind out of play as much as they could and, in a week where howling gales threatened to dispatch balls into the nearest pot bunker, that was the most effective strategy.
Consider the fate of players further down the leaderboard, and those who didn't make the cut: Oliver Wilson, Charles Howell III, Vijay Singh, Simon Dyson, Boo Weekley, Sean O'Hair. They
can't turn up to a classic links and play their usual game of attacking pins with ferocious spin and sky-high shots with their short irons. The wind duly ripped the Titleist's out of the air, dispatching them to the thick gorse.And so it should have done. It's their own fault for turning up ill-prepared, and arrogantly thinking that they could arrive at one of the most challenging layouts in the world and play the game that nets them a 20-under par victory on a bland parkland course in the average week. Players complaining that barely anyone registered an under-par round? Rubbish. This is the most challenging Championship in the world, and the world's best players should be struggling.
Of course, all the stress and strain gave way to some stunning play. Winner Padraig Harrington strung together a stunning final 9 holes to blow away any competition from Norman, Choi, Wakefield, Garcia, Stenson or anyone else. The approach to 18, after a stellar drive, took supreme guts and plenty of bravery. Even better was the approach to the green on the seventeenth, with the spectre of a possible Norman comeback still lingering. Surely it'll be awarded Shot of the Year - only something incredible will be able to topple Padraig's fairway wood.
Greg Norman was, indisputably, the other highlight. Every other old-timer in recent years who has made a move at the open - Jack Nicklaus, Tom Watson - has run out of steam come the weekend and drifted into dignified leaderboard obscurity come Sunday. Remarkably, Norman didn't just stick around on the top page - he nearly won it with a performance that will have endeared The Golden Shark to crowds already fond of the two-time Open
champion. It was a fantastic story: recently married to tennis star Chris Evert, he spends more time now playing tennis or looking after his business interests and was, at the start of the week, at the tournament to take his place as a past winner and largely make up the numbers.What a week it turned out to be: Harrington and Norman's epic performances, fantastic ingenuity and invention shown on the course, and the opportunity to watch a canny 53-year old pro show up a bunch of whingeing, complaining 'professionals' who seem to have had it far too easy for far too long.
And, you know what? As brilliant as he is, I didn't miss Tiger one bit.
My Favourite Games: Road Rash
Saturday, 12 July 2008

On a Friday evening, when I was younger, Mum used to collect me and my brother from school, and then we'd go over to visit my Paternal Grandparents. They live in a flat above my Dad's shop and, so, while we were waiting for Dad and Grandad to finish work, we'd chat, watch TV, all the usual stuff.
Quite often, I'd take my MegaDrive with me and plug it into their TV and play and, more often than not, it was Road Rash. Every time I played it, my Grandad was mortified: 'You're supposed to be overtaking them!', he'd implore, 'not hitting them!'
But, thinking about it, hitting them was kind of the point.
Road Rash was the first game that I owned, beating the original Sonic the Hedgehog by about 37 second. When I was 5 or 6, I got a MegaDrive for Christmas (or my birthday, I can't quite remember which) and, by all accounts, I loved it. I remember desperately wanting Sonic, but knew nothing about Road Rash when I tore open the paper and saw the plastic box in that classic Sega shape.
Still, it looked cool: two blokes on bikes, one reaching out to give the other a damn good smack. I'd never heard of Electronic Arts - wow, times really have
changed - but the back of the box looked just as intriguing, promising 'the most illegal and dangerous race around' where you could 'club your opponents off the road at 150mph'. You even had to 'avoid cows'. It's a game that, truly, had it all.
After clamping the cartridge into the machine - I still have it, and it still works, and I sometimes do play it - the iconic theme music started, with it's computerised, midi tones and faux-rock style. Superb.
The game had five levels and five tracks, with the routes getting progressively more difficult - and longer - as you ascend. They broadly reflected some famous American climes: Grass Valley, the Pacific Coast, Pine Forest, Redwood Forest and Sierra Nevada. They were all pretty simple, but still managed to exude plenty of atmosphere - even a change in the colour of the grass, the type of trees or - and I'm not joking - the shape of the cows often indicated that you were in a different area of the country.
The rashers themselves were also full of personality. There's three in the image above - Sergio, Slater and Helldog, from left to right - and I can still remember the little groups that they formed at the beginning of the very first race in the first level. Gunther and Grubb bringing up the rear, Axle further on, and
then a group of four riders - including Chip and Dread - who you should pass around a particular corner. Most of the riders didn't even have pictures - they were simply names - but they still managed to feel like an integral part of the experience. So much so, in fact, that they're still all there in the 1996 PlayStation version of the game, albeit joined by a larger cast of characters.
As well as the atmosphere, there was the actual racing - and it was superb. Compared to modern titles it was, of course, horrendously simple, but it worked. Press A to accelerate and B to brake while navigating the tracks that, on the later levels, threw ludicrous corners and eye-bleeding speeds at you. If anyone got in your way, then you could, of course, hit them - one button threw a quick punch, and various other combinations would unleash a vicious backhand or a powerful kick. There was definite skill in employing violence; kicking a competitor into the path of an oncoming car - because you were racing in traffic - was always memorable.
You could buy different bikes, too, and they were divided into three different classes, depending on power. Some of the later models were absolutely fearsome, transforming races from violent slugs into scenery-blurring dashes that relied more and more on sheer racing instinct rather than conscious thought.
Countless other things made me love Road Rash: the manual was full of back-story: the tale of how the tournament came about, the rasher's histories, and even information about the cops. It didn't impact upon the actual gameplay at all, but it just made for a more enjoyable experience. It's certainly a far cry for the manuals that show up with many a game nowadays that are just a piece of paper with the controls on and a link to some help pages, and plenty of games suffer as a result of this laziness.
And then there's the sequels. I don't have as much affection for them as I do the original game, but the ones that I've played are great nonetheless. Road Rash 3 had
a UK track, and introduced animated movies after the races. Road Rash on PlayStation actually had real live actors in movies before and after the races, and they were brilliant: tonnes of drunk, beardy biker blokes having fights and chasing beardy biker women. They often clashed over trophies, money and bragging rights, and they were genuinely entertaining.
But, for pure nostalgia value alone, the original Road Rash is pure perfection. It's a combination of things: the great, simple, addictive racing, the different bikes, the odd cast of rashers and the memories of unpacking the game in our old house. Grandad didn't approve then, and he doesn't know - but one thing is certain. No-one will overtake you if you've just clubbed them around the face.
Busy Busy Busy
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
I also got to go to Dublin and, as I've never flown or been abroad before, I was highly excited.
Flying is amazing: I've told people at work that the next time a trip pops up where there's a plane involve, stick me on it. I've written more about flying and the whole trip over on the PC Pro blog, so you can read that they're if you're at all interested. Which you probably won't be.
The rest of my time has been devoted to finishing my current Labs for the magazine which, in turn, has mostly been spent fighting with a Mac Mini.
I do need an answer to this so Chris, please let me know if you're reading: why doesn't the Mac Mini have an eject button? I know you can right-click the icon for the optical drive on the desktop but that can be annoying if you've got several windows open and have to click back to the desktop.
I know they like their products minimalist, but omitting such a basic feature still strikes me as a little odd.
A week on Saturday is my driving test, at 8:40am. I'm probably going to fail, so I'm not too fussed. Oh well.

